Friday, 28 August 2015

now I love this! its a Spanish soap of some kind but the T-girl is gorgeosu! fabulous body language and such a pretty face!

reminds me of me when I was 25!

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

an early episode in my life part two!

In the first part of this reminiscence, I explained how it was that at a cross roads in life, I ended up wearing a light summer frock and a large straw sun hat, walking out of Calais with my thumb held out hoping that I wouldn’t have to walk far in the sun before I could get moving on the first steps of my long T-girl odyssey to Kathmandu!

To be honest I had organised the whole thing in moments and it was while I was walking along the road that I thought for a moment about my situation with a little more clarity. I had no male clothes except a pair of women’s jeans and nothing to ‘escape into’ as it were, my becoming Andrea had meant tearing up my ‘get out of prison card’ so I couldn’t just change my mind and chicken out, slipping back into  male clothing as I didn’t have any with me. For a moment my courage faltered and I began to wonder if I hadn’t just set out on a road to disaster, my muppet headed  planning just setting me up for a big fall. Then as I walked along the road through the town, I caught sight of myself in a shop windows and saw reflected back a tall girl in a suede miniskirt with long legs, knee-high cowboy boots and a gypsy style, loose blouse with a large shoulder bag now slung so it hung down my back. The question was would I pass as a young girl? Almost on cue at that moment a lorry went past and the driver gesticulated out of the window in the universal body language signage that says “I’d give you one darling given half a chance” My spirits rose and I decided there was no going back, I am now Andrea, in Europe and I am a pretty girl!....sort off with just a few ifs and buts!!

The first couple of lifts were a bit non-nondescript, one, a Belgian woman, who gave me a lift as far as the main road to Abbeville then on to Amiens. There followed a quick succession of lifts all of which took me closer to my southern pointing route but still doing more ambling through local B roads than I had hoped for. I did finally strike gold and got a lift with an English family who looked like something out of a McGill seaside postcard. They were driving a large brown Humber Snipe and he looked like the old actor Fred Emney, with a monocle held tightly in a red eye and wisps of white hair flying loosely around his head. He wore a rather dirty white linen suit and a blue cravat. His wife called... and I jest not! Blossom..was sitting in the back seat sweating in a cotton dress and I guessed weighing in at about 20 stone. They were deeply eccentric but were offering to take me south past Paris and on towards Chartres, which looked like a good deal.

I had still had no serious sexual situations or advances made and the conversations with my other lifts had been a bit stilted with my school French but as I bundled my bag into the front foot-well of the dusty old car and slid my bottom into the front passenger seat next to my driver, I was about to have my first!

We were bowling along the French highway with a blue sky and little fluffy clouds above while my host hummed tunelessly at the wheel and his wife blossom ate doorstep sandwiches in the rear and talked non-stop about her family, sweating and cotton versus linen, and the French people’s arrogance....and on and on, till her voice became a sort of background hum like the sound of the engine.

After half an hour or so I was suddenly roused out of my torpor when I suddenly felt a warm hand on my thigh and looking across at the driver, saw that he was staring ahead, still with one monocle in his eye, one hand clutching the wheel the other now lightly stroking my thigh. His hand was wandering around my inner thigh and pushing up the hem of my skirt higher and higher.

I realised that it was probably better to put up with his tentative fondling and play along with him. After a while he grasped my hand gently and pulled it towards his trouser pocket, for a moment I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to do, then I twigged and as he lifted his weight slightly, I slid my hand into his left trouser pocket only to discover that like some spotty schoolboy, the lining was basically missing and my hand was in amongst his wrinkly, sweaty, naked and growing genitalia.
There followed about five minutes of me fondling his penis and balls trying to keep my arm as still as possible so Blossom did not catch on as to what we were up to in the front. Finally he seemed to freeze at the wheel, made a faint coughing noise in the back of his throat and shook slightly and for a moment I had visions of us crashing spectacularly of the road as he quietly orgasmed, covering my hand generously with his cum. I managed to withdraw my hand discreetly and wipe it clean with a tissue from my bag. He now sat back comfortably in his seat and withdrew his hand from my thigh! Lust satiated and obviously a little payment in kind for the lift!

We parted company after some hours traveling together They both seemed to accept me for what I appeared to be which is a girl alone and they was no hint of unusual curiosity or mention of gender, although they might have just have been being polite!

I stayed overnight in a small pension and again no comments were made although the owner a slim elderly French lady but didn’t notice that the picture of a long haired young man was the girl standing in front of her. I am lucky in that I don’t have and never have had a strong bear growth so shaving once a day was just about OK although if I went out in the evening I shaved again just to make sure, I also was quite tanned during the trip so didn’t really need much foundation. I concentrated on my eyes and lips and that seemed to be more than enough to give the look I wanted. It was wonderful weather so I woke up early got showered and changed, getting into a routine of washing my knickers and tops and putting them in a plastic bag and then trying to dry them the sun while I waited for lifts or just sat near the edge of the road enjoying the scenery. Most of the time on the road I made a lot of effort to make myself look good, first for myself as I adapted to my female persona and also because the more attractive/pretty/sexy/cute I looked, the more quickly came the lifts. I managed to set my hair every morning so it was clean and had large curls courtesy of my Carmen rollers!

Three days in and I had managed to get dropped off at a small town near Poitiers and managed to find somewhere to stay. The next day was hot and sunny again, the weather seemed to be endlessly glorious, I can’t remember a rainy or really horrid day or maybe that is my memory playing tricks on me and letting me view this time through rose–tinted glasses!  I felt in a wonderful mood setting off to find the main road out towards the South and I wandered to the edge of the town, on for a further mile or so and settled down on a tree stump near the edge of the dusty road, which had a clear view either way but was in some shade from a little group of trees along the edge of a field.

I watched as cars passed me by for about half an hour when an old Peugeot pick-up truck came meandering down the road towards me, carried on past a few yards, and then reversed up. The driver was a round faced man in his late forties with a large moustache and twinkly eyes. He was not what I would call handsome but he was very attractive in a cuddly scruffy sort of way.

He lent over and asked me if I wanted a lift and I scooped up my things and jumped into the cab slamming the rattling door closed and grinned across the transmission hump at him. The truck must have been about 20 years old and was typical of a peasant farmer or artisan who kept it going with some tender loving care and a good hammering now and again! I explained in my halting French I was heading South for Perpignan and then on across Europe and he smiled and lit a cigarette and we set off. He explained that he was making a number of different deliveries and would have to stop off along the way at a couple of farms and a friend’s house. If I was happy to take a slightly slower route, he would be glad to take me further south towards Perigueux where he was sure a friend of his would be happy to give me a lift on towards Toulouse tomorrow as he had business in the city.

For me that sounded like progress so I agreed and settled down to a rickety journey through some of the byways of rural France. We chatted gently although there were no questions about my gender and again I felt a bit smug that I seemed to be getting better at passing and fooling people into believing that I was female! I sometimes felt that I was outside myself, looking in and watching myself closely, observing my  mannerisms, how I held my hands and arms, the tone of my voice, the way I kept my knees together and smoothed down the back of my dress when I sat down. It was like an intense self-study into female body language, as I became more practiced, my movements became more natural and I had to work less and less at making an effort to ‘perform’ as a girl all the time. My walk was becoming natural and instinctive, with smaller steps and crossing my legs over each other to mimic the effect of having wider hips. 

We stopped off at the two farms he had appointments with and I waited in the truck or got out and stretched my legs and by lunchtime he suggested we stop for a rest and some food. He drove down a small side road avenued with trees, that ran between glowing fields until we stopped at a heart-stopping beautiful spot, where an old stone bridge crossed a small river bordered by a copse of trees that were giving shade over the bridge and a grassy space at the side of the bridge that led down to the clear water of the river.

He pulled off the road and stopped switching of the engine and getting out to go round to the back of the truck. He took out an old straw basket....and in a scene that was so stereotypically French I nearly laughed...he produced a small tarpaulin and a picnic lunch. We settled down on the little ‘natural’ lawn that went down to the water and he lay out the bread, sausage and tomatoes and fruit he had brought with him, then came a cheap plastic bottle with wine in and smaller plastic bottle with olive oil and  some kind of sauce. It was all rather idyllic and we sat on the tarpaulin and chatted gently, managing to make broken conversation getting by and mostly understanding what the other was saying. He offered me some wine from the plastic bottle that looked as though it should contain industrial cleaner but I declined because of my recent rehab experience and wandered off to role a sneaky joint while  he lay back and snoozed with a handkerchief over his face.

I was standing in the shade having taken my off my boots and was standing ankle deep in a few inches of the cool river water. There was a little clump of saplings nearly in the water which shielded me from the view of the road and the bridge and I stood enjoying the picturesque scene in front of me.

I finished the joint and flicked it into the water and was standing relaxed and luxuriating in the quiet and the warmth, when I heard a little splash in the water and felt a hand softly clasp my bottom.

He had come to join me standing in the river, having left his socks and shoes on the tarpaulin. I stood there and he moved his hand slowly, caressing my buttock and I saw him watching my face intently out of the corner of my eye, while I, slightly nervously, stared straight ahead avoiding his gaze.  I started to feel softly sexy and really quite turned on. He was not a handsome man but he was certainly more than just attractive and I was feeling increasingly feminine being on the receiving end of his ‘opening moves’ in what he had clearly decided was to be my apparent seduction. I was suddenly nervous that if this went any further my true gender might be suddenly revealed if his hands went any further and reached my crotch and he discovered I was a girl with a bit extra!
Being a bit stoned probably made me err on the side of wild abandonment and I turned my head and kissed him. That was clearly the signal he had been hoping for and he grabbed me tight to him and we had a wonderful, wet tongues entwined snog! He held a buttock in each hand and pulled me hard into his crotch, kissing my neck and ears with a wet, Gallic enthusiasm. I was a little taller than him but the height difference didn’t seem to dampen his ardour!

Then it happened!...his hands were sneakingly exploring my knickers and he discovered my little secret....He froze for a moment and I stood there, his arms still holding me tight and he looked me in the eye, looking quizzical and a bit stern, then he grinned and carried on exploring me, his fingers probing between my buttocks and starting to play with me, creating a wonderful sensation in my thighs and stomach.

He told me later that he thought I was a trans girl after we had been driving together for a while, although it was only a suspicion and he was a definite fan of T-girls although his experience was very limited. He found that both the idea of me, as well as the actuality of me, very exciting!

Now his fingers were eagerly probing my bottom and I managed put him on ‘pause’ for a moment and explain in primitive French, that I was a little too dry! He caught on quick and trotted back to the picnic, returning moments later with the plastic bottle of olive oil! his face beaming.

So we set too with a lustful and aroused enthusiasm that ended up with me lubricated like a French salad with good quality virgin olive oil...a bit of an irony considering my complete lack of virginity, I was then rolled onto my back and we took the missionary position and after some very enjoyable fumbling, he managed to  enter me and suddenly it was like being back in 1066! ....with a French invasion on my spread shore/thighs!....only this time the experience was being thoroughly enjoyed by both sides.

He was a good lover and we rolled around changing positions... sometimes with me sitting straddled over his hips while he jerked and struggled to get his dark blue work trousers off his legs and ankles. He took his time as well which always turns me on more and devoted huge amounts of attention to different parts of my body, giving me the most wonderful sensations.

After 20 minutes of delicious sex I ended up on all fours while mounted me from behind and I felt his climax build as I tightened and squeezed myself around him and then welcomed his seed into the depth of my belly as he made deep throated strange whimpering noises grabbed my hips tightly towards him and came.

Seconds later I had my own orgasm and then collapsed on the grass beside him, while around us the French countryside buzzed and hummed and the river gurgled past our feet.

Over the years I have had many lovers but that moment still lives as one of the most perfect moments of sex I have ever had. It was romantic and I think I was probably at my prettiest and most feminine. I lay there, eyes closed, while he ran his finger over my stomach and legs and I felt his seed ooze a little out of me. After what seemed ages we got up and adjusted our clothing, me retrieving my knickers from where they had been tossed and cleared up the picnic and got back in his truck.

I spent that night with him at a strange place that was part of a small industrial estate. He had a storeroom which had attached a small room with a bed and a washroom and shower. We ate some soup and bread and made love again squashed together in the small bed.
We parted the next day and his friend took me on past Toulouse and closer to the Mediterranean.

I met many more strange and eccentric characters as the journey progressed and I’m not giving anything away by saying that I never got to Kathmandu! That was something I realised much later in life and in different circumstances.

I did end up in Italy though and my trip carried on for some months before I returned to old blighty!....a little older, much wiser and over the weeks much loved by numerous lovers and fellow travelers, but that must wait till part three if there is going to be one!!

Monday, 17 August 2015

an early episode in my life

There are times in life when you reach a crossroads and you make a decision which resonates down through the rest of your life. In 1972 I was at just such a crossroad and had reached a very low ebb in my young life. I had had an epiphany at my boarding school and had become the lover of a local farmer and had been helped in exploring the whole world of female dressing. He was a latent t-girl lover and our unlikely meeting sparked a fervent relationship that was secretive and illegal with me as a 15 year old schoolboy and him a 35 year old farmer. Together we had cautiously explored the world of anal and oral sex and I had become comfortable, with the help of my patient lover, with the various ways a man and a teenage boy could have sex together, exciting each other and reaching some soul shattering orgasms together.

I had left school an effete gay boy and had been playing in a school band that turned professional once we had entered the big wide world outside school. At first it was everything we had imagined and hoped for, then our immaturity led to vast amounts of alcohol and drug consumption and although the glam rock movement was emerging, my appearing on stage in a mini-dress on a number of occasions  increasingly freaked out the other band members and I was fired unceremoniously and found myself after two years of touring continuously in a rock band, in a Clapham squat with two gay guys and three girls. I was dazed and very confused especially about my sexuality, who I was supposed to be and what was my future to be, it all seemed very uncertain and disconnected. I felt that my female side had to be expressed but in those days before the internet and the connected world, it was a very isolated and lonely world for a young transsexual.

I immediately and very maturely decided that the best thing to do, was to march quickly as possible down the road to oblivion, so I didn’t have to make any grown up difficult decisions. I embarked on a marathon drugs and drinks binge session which lasted, I have been told, just under a week. I can’t remember what happened other than crashing at various friends flats and taking anything I was offered on the drugs front and drinking vast amounts of brandy wine and scotch. I ended up unconscious on the floor of a flat in Shepherds’ Bush, covered in puke and in a coma, until someone with a clear enough head managed to get their shit together enough to call for an ambulance and I ended up in Hammersmith Hospital.

Spool forward a few short months and after a spell in Goodmayes psychiatric hospital, I was looking at the start of the summer of 1972 an exhausted and confused little soul.

There was around this time, a strange bubble of androgynous music and fashion. Bowie was on the horizon with Ziggy Stardust and Marc Bolan and various hippyish musicians who all wore make up and long hair and very female fashions. I saw this as a golden chance for me to walk around ‘under the radar’ as it were and I always went out wearing mascara and lipstick most days and had let my hair grow to longer than shoulder length and styled it with a neat, feminine fringe.

I remember being in a room in our squat one evening listening to a friend who had hitchhiked to Kathmandu and back and as he talked the idea grew in my head that I really needed to get away from the turmoil of my current  life and travel to new places to meet new people and have fresh experiences that weren’t connected to the past three years of confusion and chaos.

I decided at that moment as I lay on a scruffy sheepskin rug, staring at the ceiling and  listening to him talking about the wonderful hash he scored in turkey and the wondrous experience of traveling through India, that I would hitchhike to Kathmandu on my own and more importantly, I would dress and be Andrea the whole time. I would finally be the girl I felt I so badly needed to be and would try to experience life through her eyes.

Let me add at this point that there was no intelligent planning of this trip, it was about as spontaneous and unplanned and dangerous as it possibly could be. I Had some cash left over from the band’s touring, so I changed eight hundred pounds, all my savings, into dollars, which I carefully sewed up inside a anonymous leather bag and packed a large canvas shoulder bag and set off for Victoria station and the Dover-Calais ferry, to start my journey.

Before describing some of the journeys highlights, a journey I will call Andrea’s quest for a truth! (not ‘the’ truth.... that wasn’t ironic enough! but just a truth!) Let me give you a description of what I looked like and what I wore and what I packed to take with me.

I was six foot tall and very slim, with long dark brown hair that was curled whenever I was near a power socket and could plug in my small, travel set of Carmen Rollers. I wore masses of kohl round my eyes and thick mascara, either a dark brown or strangely a pale cream eye shadow with, generally, a pale pink lipstick. I wore plum coloured nail polish and to top it all an extravagantly large pair of sunglasses which I almost never removed in order to look 'cool and interesting'.

I was had some really comfortable and worn in women’s knee high, cowboy style boots, decorated with beads and leather fringes, a short brown suede miniskirt and a loose, flowing, low necked white top and masses and masses of necklaces and bracelets’ that I collected on shopping trips to Kensington or Camden market or made myself from wooden  and silver beads, various feathers and twists of cloth.

I had a smelly black Afghan coat and shoved in my bag, a psychedelic plastic poncho, in case it rained and to top it all, I had a large broad brimmed, floppy sunhat. In my bag were my passport, spare knickers, a cashmere sweater a boyfriend had given me and some lightweight flowery print summer dresses. Footwear included a pair of very worn in and comfortable low heeled, red Mary Jane’s and some flips flops!

Finally I have to admit that I was not completely rehabilitated on the drug front, after my short coma and going through a sort of half hearted hospital drying out treatment, that lasted two weeks, I bought from a friend a large block of Arab Gold dope to help even out my fragile mental state. It was carefully wrapped in tin foil in my bag along with large rolling papers and some duty free Old Holborn baccy and as a result I was very very stoned, a lot of the time!

I went through the ferry customs at both ends of the channel crossing, with enough drugs to be given a twelve month sentence or more if caught and as a twenty year old man dressed as a girl. Yet nothing happened and I myopically sailed through and tripped onto the streets of Calais after an uneventful crossing.

Before I continue with a description of some of the things that happened along the way, I need to explain a pet theory I have about fortune and attitude. Looking back at myself then from now, with all my experience and age, it terrifies me to see me making my way as a 20 year old transsexual, on her own, hitching across Europe, carrying drugs and money and clearly an un-missable target for unspeakable acts of violence or rape. Yet for the whole trip, I was never hurt or physically attacked. I did have a few occasions which might have been described as almost rape! I was a few times fucked by men who weren’t going to take no for an answer and I gave in to get it over with quickly and collect my knickers and move on. All that time my guardian angel must have been clocking in a 7 day week and a rolling twenty four hour shift!

I also became accustomed to the me that is Andrea. I had begun to experience my femininity with my first male lover while at school but it was all too soon and early for me and fumbling though it was and although very erotic and sexy, it was only me as a half formed creature.

Now dressed continuously and away from my home, my mannerisms and body language begun to evolve into something that felt much more naturally feminine. I pitched my voice higher and huskier, walked with shorter steps and held my body in a more protective stance, often with arms held across my chest. I always sat with my legs crossed and adopted many of the normal tiny mannerism that women instinctively display.

I always wore a bra, usually with no padding except sometimes when feeling a little insecure! when I would push some tissues into the cups to suggest the outline of a small breast. It was interesting how people I met just assumed I was a tall gamine girl, they would see a bra through the cotton material of my blouse and although it showed a pretty flat chest it was enough of a signal of femininity for them and mostly caused no comment.

Over the first week, I literally became more and more relaxed as my feminine persona matured and blossomed and I experimented and grew into being Andrea. I also realised how I could often use my body to get what I needed on my trip, anything from food and shelter to long lifts along the motorways. It brought home the true nature of the ‘female state’, where physical sexuality is so often regarded by men as a form of currency, especially in 1972 when the feminist movement was just gaining real momentum!

I rapidly became adept at flirting with men, even seducing them and using them to help me through my journey, I realised that on the road a blowjob had a currency value all of its own! which could take you anything between 10 miles to a 100 miles and even on some occasions get you a free meal!.

Interestingly I was most often ‘read’ by women who stopped quite often to give a female a lift. I had some wonderful conversations in broken French with curious mademoiselles! Men were more easily taken in and some were hugely surprised to find out I was a transsexual, more interesting was how many professed ‘straight’ men hit on me even more energetically once they knew my gender status.

I walked out of the Calais docks with the intention of aiming for Perpignan in southern France and if I got there in one piece, to work out my route on to Kathmandu, as you can see I had such simple goals! or rather simple minded goals! It was also to become a genuine journey of sexual awakening and discovery, bringing me into contact with many surreal scenarios and larger than life characters many of whom bedded me.

But those are sweaty details that belong in part two of this story!  

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Nipples can be very sensitive!

Neither my breasts nor my nipples are particularly large but they are quite sensitive. During sex when a man sucks them hard, making them stand up, a sublime sensation travels directly between my nipples and my crotch. If a man is embedded in my pussy that only makes it more sensitive and if I'm not careful there have been occasions when if I am being fucked and my lover sucks and chews and licks my nipples I have just orgasmed spontaneously! is all just too much sensory input!
The sensual nerve endings around my nipples connects directly to the sensations that build in my pussy and as the cock is thrusting in and out of me the combination f the two just sends me over the top and I'm moaning and mewling and cumming helplessly as I'm rocked back and forth by the hard thrusting of the man inside me!
it's really rather lovely, not always, but on those special occasions when the sex is very sensual with lots of wet kissing and the all over fondling of my body it makes the orgasm very intense.

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

well a girl has needs!

There are times when I get so horny I literally can't see straight. My whole body is aching for sex, to be thrown on the bed and have the weight of a man press down between my legs forcing the air out of my lungs as he pushes his cock hard between my cheeks trying to push himself inside me. but when there is only me what is a girl to do!
Well I go to the fridge and select a nice large fresh cucumber and pull back the plastic packaging like a giant transparent foreskin, i lay back open my legs and after coating it liberally in KY jelly slowly insert the cool hard vegetable till it is buried so deep in my pussy that it won't penetrate me any further....Then I just lie there eyes closed and imagine it is a large erect cock straining to ejaculate and fill me with gallons of hot creamy spunk!

then I cum!

bon apetite!